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resume gaffs

Seeking to hire a super star Executive Assistant, i posted on and received over 100 letters and resumes.  It appears the idea of proofing your resume for a job that requires good communication skills is not quite accepted by some people.  Examples of the more interesting statements included:

Seeking a position to perform all my full potential

worked with a high range of executives from the CEO of a top stationary comany

I employ the opportunity to take on new and exciting task

I am actively seeking an executive assistant within your company

my secretarial skills, I am an adept event planner, having served on the committee for Halloween/Christmas Ball while working at XXXX Partners.

I am very detail oriented and a very quick learner.

Answered and transferred phone calls

Sort and deliver faxes, mail and packages; Prepare labels for UPS and FEDEX

i am great with the interenet

I have strong experience in retail and restaurant operations.

i am a well organize self-starter

I decided it would be a good idea to find employment outside the gambling industry.  While I enjoyed living and working in a foreign country, the work lacked meaning and was arguably dangerous.

Convinced British strangers to rent out their personal information for business purposes

Served and greeted customers in fast-pace environment full of swank high rollers willing to buy $14 cocktails served in plastic cups

I love my job, but i am looking for a new opportunity

kind of a square peg in a round hole in terms of working in Investment Banking, however i thrive being in a supporting role. I am a recently retired ballet dancer that decided to go 9 to 5, but now i am looking to find a more suitable area of business.

majoring in Marketting and minoring in English

have a Positive attitude and a "can do" and "will do" attitude, great personality, great writing skills, strong computer skills, administrative and excellent communication skills , MS-Office Suite, Photoshop, Outlook, Html/ Web design, Final Cut Pro, Pro Tools, and Mac.

"interested in working for your organization and i have attached my resume as a first step in exploring the possibilities of employment. As an employee for your organization, I guarantee to perform professionally, accurately, and …."

Distributing incoming mail within the office

I have done it all, weather it be corresponding on my employers behalf with permission, making expense reports, prioritizing projects, brainstorming

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